The "S" Word

It’s not a four letter word, but it makes everyone cringe. It’s not a swear word, but no one likes it (directed at them at least). It is most often used in reference to wives, but few realize that it applies to everyone and is meant for reward and protection, not to demean. It is also essential for growth in godliness.

That word: Submission.

By definition, to submit simply means to yield which is really not that terribly awful. It simply requires giving up our own way or preference in lieu of another’s. It does not mean to become a doormat that is used without thought, preference or opinion. It does not imply being used or abused. It simply means putting the other person first, letting them have their way instead of requiring our own. It is a means of showing respect for the other person, that they are valued above self. It is a willing act of the one submitting, not a forced posture imposed by the one being submitted to. It is also a requirement for spiritual greatness.

Mark 10:43-44 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

But it is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all.

Like I said, most people do not want to be told in any way that they need to submit. Even though I am a proponent for biblical submission, it makes even my skin crawl when it is directed toward me. It is difficult because it goes against our human nature. We are prideful by default, but submission requires humility and selflessness. For the most part in the last 50 years it has been used primarily as a directive for wives, but it is far more reaching than that. There are five instances of biblical submission that I will address, marriage is only one of them.

First and foremost, we are all called to submit to God. Every Christian will acknowledge Christ as Savior, but many do not acknowledge Him as their Lord. Yet He is both. And we cannot have Him as our Savior if He is not also our Lord. He is the King of Kings and God has given Him reign over all creation. When we accept His salvation, we are accepting who He IS, not who we want, and submitting our lives to Him.

Luke 9:23-24 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.”

That is what it means to take up our cross, to give up living for ourselves and instead live for Him. By following Him we are giving up our rights, our will to do what we want, and exchanging it for His will. We must deny ourselves and our selfish desires and live to please Him instead of ourselves. We must follow Him in obedience rather than following Satan in sin. Those are the only two options, for by doing what we want instead of what God wants we are rejecting His Lordship and following Satan instead. We must choose who is to be our Lord: God or Satan. And that choice is reflected in our obedience to one or the other. Submission to God is not an option for a Christian, it is a requirement. By refusing to submit to Him, refusing obedience, we are rejecting His Lordship and therefore reject His salvation because it is by His power and authority that He defeated sin and Satan, and without that there is no salvation.

James 4:7 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

It does not say to merely resist Satan and he will flee, that would make it our power that mastered him. It also does not say to ask God for help or let Him do it; it says to submit to God. It is His power that does it, but He has to be our Lord before that power and protection applies to us. That is the reward that comes from submission: we are given access to His power and protection, but we don’t get it if we don’t submit. By submitting we also save our lives, by giving them to Him, rather than losing our lives by giving them to sin. We find life in submission to Christ

Second, we are called to submit to God’s law. Some may say that we are not under the law as Christians because we are saved by grace, and that is true as far as salvation, but that does not mean that we are free from obedience.

Romans 6:14-16 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace. What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? May it never be! Do you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness?

Jesus Himself said that He did not come to abolish the law but to fulfill it. If you read through the New Testament, we are given the same laws by which to abide as in the Old Testament. If anything, our laws as Christians are more strict, because where the Old Testament said not to commit adultery, the new testament says not to lust. The difference is that we are no longer saved or justified by our obedience; we are proven by our obedience. Obedience shows our allegiance.

1 Peter 1:14-16 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

Again, by refusing to obey the law of God we are refusing Him as Lord and therefore as Savior also. We are to be set apart, to be holy as God is holy, we cannot do that without obedience. But the reason for this is God’s glory. That is our ultimate created purpose. We bear His name as Christians, and we defame His name through disobedience. His glory should be our passion. Our reward for submission is protection. By obeying God we are saved from the pitfalls and consequences of sin. We trade our own freedom for safety and love for God.

Third, we are all called to submit to the governing authorities. We are commanded to obey the laws of the land and respect those in authority over us, whether that is the government, law enforcement, employers, pastors, teachers, etc.

1 Peter 2:13-17 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men. Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bondslaves of God. Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.

Again, this isn’t in order to make us fools or for mere domination, we are to submit for God’s sake and the sake of His name which we bear. Whatever authority is over us, we are to submit willingly and cheerfully because in so doing we are honoring God. We are not to use our “freedom” as an excuse to do what we want. That is cheap grace, but the grace by which we are saved came at a great price. We are to do everything for the purpose of bringing glory to God and that means doing what He wants us to rather than what we want. It doesn’t matter if our boss, supervisor, president, pastor, policemen etc is respectable, intelligent or just. We are to respect and obey period (unless that obedience requires us to sin because submission to God comes first). Any amount of rebellion, no matter how small, is rebellion against God, which is spiritual treason. If we are to love God, and respect Him as we are commanded, then we must obey His word. Deviation is caused by selfishness and pride which are contrary to God and therefore sin. When next faced with the temptation to disobey any authority for any reason ask this: is this to please and honor me or God?

Fourth, wives are called to submit to their husbands. This is the touchy one because it has been used for decades as a way for men to dominate their wives, an excuse to get their own way and reject their wives’ part of the union of marriage. That is not how it was intended to be, however, and if husbands loved their wives as the Bible says they would find their wives willingly submitting to their leadership. Husbands and wives are supposed to submit to each other in general for “the man’s body is not his own but belongs to his wife” and vice versus. We are to love each other equally, sacrificially and completely.

Ephesians 5:33 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

True biblical submission in marriage was not meant to place women as a door mat under their husbands feet as a slave. Marriage was created as a union of equal members where both parties are to love and serve the other as a representation of the union between God and His Son and between Christ and the church. There should be no willful domination or selfishness in either of those relationships, but rather loving, sacrificial leadership and obedience.

Ephesians 5:23-25 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

The purpose of telling wives to submit is to determine who would be the head, again not for domination, but because there must be one to lead. In the same way, we can only have one president, but the vice president is just as important, and in some cases actually “does” more for the country. In sports, there is always one on the team, whatever the sport, who decides what play to make, who will take the ball, etc. Yet that person is no more important than any other member on the team. But there must be one to lead.

The downside to leadership is that the leader also takes the blame when things go wrong even if it isn’t their fault. They have the stress of making the decisions and taking care of those under them. When women try to take that from their husbands they are removing their husband’s God-given role and taking control that was never meant to be theirs. Yes, wives should have a say in decision making, they should be loved and served and appreciated, but ultimately the husband must lead. In a truly biblical marriage, there is rarely an instance where the husband and wife disagree and a side has to be taken.  

Again this is not meant as an excuse for husbands to get to do whatever they want, it is to be used for the benefit of the marriage and family as a whole. It is meant for the peace and protection of the family unit, and if all parts are following God and His plan for them, there is harmony and security. But we must do our part in obedience to God regardless of whether the rest do theirs.

1 Peter 3:1-2 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior

Biblical submission is beautiful and is actually meant for our glory. As biblical, godly wives we can be a crown to our husbands that the world will see, by blessing him with our selfless love and joyful submission. It is something that will beautify us, honor him and God, and show others our love for both. When faced with the choice of submission ask “who am I serving in my decision; myself or my husband”? That choice will show who you love.

Fifth, children are to submit to their parents. The commandment for “children to honor their parents” does not sound much like submission, but in reality that’s what it is. As with submitting to God, one cannot honor an authority in the midst of rebellion. We must obey in order to honor. Outward obedience without inward submission is hypocrisy and really not very pleasing. I want my children to obey out of love, because they want to, not out of fear of punishment or mere duty. It is no less with God. That is why we are given free will, so that we can choose to obey out of love. Unfortunately, not all children have parents worthy of respect, but as with every other form of obedience, we must do our part regardless of whether the others do theirs. And again, it is not for our domination but for our safety. If we are punished for doing wrong, we deserve it. We should always act in a way that is worthy of our Father and worthy of our name “Christian”. Our reward is not only protection on earth, but also a close relationship with God, honor in heaven and a long life. We are to submit to our parents just as we are to submit to any other authority, and our submission is for the same purpose in the family as it is in marriage.

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Submission is for the Christian, not just the wife or the child. It is for all of us. Submission provides safety, security and peace in our relationships. But it requires love for God and humility in ourselves.

Philippians 2:3-4 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

We cannot truly submit if we are selfish or prideful. But the reward is great if we are willing to take up our cross daily and follow our Savior. Christ is the ultimate example of willing submission. Of all people, He had the most right to refuse to submit and demand that others submit to Him, yet He willingly gave up His rights and His place as King in order to submit not only to His Father but also to the governing authorities to the point of death. He was entirely obedient out of love for God and joyfully gave up everything for the sake of obedience and glorifying God. What right have we to demand anything if even He did not? As bearers of His name, we are supposed to imitate Him (hence the bearing of His name), which requires that we submit as He did; to parents, spouses, bosses, government and ultimately God.

Philippians 2:5-8 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

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So when you are faced with the opportunity to submit or not, remember, Christ willingly gave up His rights to save you and submit, how will your decision represent Him to the world? Are you serving Him or yourself with your decision? And before you demand others to submit to you, ask “am I submitting too?”