Don't Be His Mom

What I've Learned in Marriage 13--I have seen the adage that “a woman doesn’t need kids because she has a husband” and it definitely seems true in some cases, but I don’t think that should be our attitude. Whether your husband acts like a child or not, it is not your job to be his mom. He already has one and it’s not you.

Your marriage will never be what it should be if you treat him like a child, especially if you don’t allow him to lead or take responsibility. You may say that he is irresponsible, or that he won’t lead, and that may be true. But he can never learn to lead or take responsibility if you don’t let him. God has commanded that the husband is to lead and the wife is to support.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:22-24 NASB

That does not mean that you are inferior, less important, or that you can’t offer your opinion or advice on anything. It is just a matter of each person being given a specific role. Look at a basketball team.

The point guard may seem to have a more glorious roll than the high post/forward position and handle the ball more, but the team can not function as it should if every member is a point guard. Both positions are equally necessary. And although the other members don’t have the recognition that the point guard receives, they also don’t get as much blame if things go bad because the guard makes the decision of play. That is where the responsibility lies. But he couldn’t take that responsibility if his team didn’t give him good support and back up. That is how we are supposed to be. Ask any actor, the lead role may get more attention, but the supporting role is just as important.

Allow your husband the honor and responsibility that he is due (see #8), remember, life works better if things are as they were intended (created) to be. That may mean that your husband might make a bad decision for your family, but he is answerable to God for that. If you take control and don’t allow him to make that decision then you are removing God’s ability to work in him and deal with him as He should. Let your husband lead and trust God to take care of the result.