“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,”
declares the Lord.
“For as the
heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your
ways
And My thoughts than your
thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9 New American Standard
Bible
It can be hard to understand
why God works the way He does, why He allows the innocent to suffer, why He
heals some and not others. Pat answers and overspiritualization (like “God
works all for the good of those who love Him”) do not help, and sometimes even
make things worse. I’ve learned that suffering is a process that we have to
walk through to learn the truths of God, and in a sense we have to walk it
alone. It is not something that people can do for us, or speed up the process
in any way. Nothing people say really helps in the moment, no matter how wise
or true. The suffering need loving presence not words. We can only help the
suffering by being with them. I learned all of this walking through my own
suffering. Several years ago, right after our first anniversary, I conceived
twins. At 18 weeks I went into labor and we lost them. There was nothing anyone
could have done. I struggled for weeks wondering why God allowed that to
happen. If I was not meant to keep my babies, why allow me to have them at all?
I knew that God is real and completely in control, but how could He be good
when what I was going through was so not-good? I came to the point in my
wrestling and anger that I had to make a choice; to either turn my back on God,
even though I could never deny His existence, or to believe that He is somehow
both good and sovereign even though I may never understand what happened. I
just couldn’t bring myself to reject the God I knew was real. And since the
Bible says that He is both good and sovereign, I had to accept that in faith. I
still don’t know why I couldn’t keep my babies, but God used that situation to
grow my faith tremendously. And through it He fulfilled my greatest dream from
childhood of being an author. And He has used that dream to minister to
countless others in their suffering, to bring them a word of hope in their time
of trial.
In the midst of suffering,
truths like this verse do not help the sufferer. It is something to be
experienced not told. If you know someone hurting, offer them a hug, a cup of
tea, or help with chores. Save words of wisdom for a later time.
If you are suffering, know
that I understand. Take heart, it will not last forever. I know it seems dark
right now, but keep seeking God and the light will come. You are loved, even if
it doesn’t feel that way right now.
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