Are You Willing to be Needy?

Being needy is generally seen as a bad thing, especially in American culture. We are supposed to be independent, self-sufficient, and strong. We shouldn’t need anyone or anything. Often, when we realize we do need, we deny or hide it. What does the Bible say about being needy? Is it something we should be? Were we made to need anything or anyone?

Genesis 2:18 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

This is the one time in the period of creation that God looked at what He made and it wasn’t perfect. We were made to need. It is natural for us to need others, for relationship, for assistance, for support, for companionship, for fellowship. Ecclesiastes 4 talks about the benefit of having another to help. If one falls, the other can help them up. If one is hurt, the other can assist. More work can be done with two than one. If one is attacked, the other can protect. These benefits reflect the 4 different areas we have needs, physical, emotional, spiritual and mental. Not only is it helpful, but we are actually commanded to do this.

Galatians 6:1-3 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.

The most important benefit to fellowship with others is keeping each other accountable, which is probably the main reason Christians avoid it. The more we are with other Christians, the more obvious our short comings are. Of course, God intended for it to be this way, for us to watch out for each other, keeping each other sharpened as it were. It is not possible for us to live completely and wholly autonomously, totally independent from any other human. The more we are willing to work with others, the better and easier life will be all around.

But there is another need that is even more essential, that is our need for God. We were created totally dependant on Him. We owe Him our very existence, and it is He who keeps us alive. Our bodies could not function, we could not even breathe, without Him. He gives us every good thing we have, even the ones we take for granted, like sunshine and life.

Acts 17:28 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

For in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we also are His children.’

We also need His salvation. Without Christ, our righteousness is not good enough and we will die in our sins, paying the punishment for them eternally. Only God can give us salvation and save us from our sin.

Whether we are willing to admit it or not, we are totally and completely dependent on God. The question is will we submit to and praise Him for this, or will we rebel and seek to make our own existence?

The desire to do this is very subtle, and may be easily overlooked, but there are some key areas that denote a heart which acknowledges its existence and sufficiency in its Creator:

• Humility—this is one of the key signs of a heart that acknowledges its dependency. It admits its need for God and for others and is not averse to accepting or asking for help.
• Pray without ceasing—this is our mainline to God and is an example of our dependence on Him. If we aren’t praying, we are probably trying to do life on our own. Prayer reveals God as our ultimate provider.
• Counting blessings—remembering what God has done for us in the past is another sign of acknowledging dependence on Him, and also helps us remain dependent on Him because it reveals how much we truly do need Him. The Israelites repeatedly fell into idolatry because they forgot what God had done.
• Peace in trials—how we respond to trials is an easy way to tell where our hearts are. If we are angry or distraught over troubles, it reveals that we rely on ourselves and not God, but if we have peace it shows that we trust God as our Lord, Savior and Provider and rely on His absolute control.
• Conviction of sin—if we are humble, and readily acknowledge our need for God, we will not be opposed to also acknowledging our sin. We will openly admit that we are not perfect, and be all the more ready to examine our lives for sin in order to get rid of it. A heart seeking for autonomy will be closed to the Spirit and in denial of any need to repent.
• Seeking fellowship—if we readily acknowledge that we need others, we will seek fellowship with other believers for their mutual support, encouragement and accountability. We will develop deep relationships with others who will be faithful to help us grow and keep accountable any sin we may struggle with. A heart of autonomy will avoid this, especially accountability, because that is a threat to self sufficiency.
• Transparency—a heart that realizes its need for others will be transparent in order to allow for greater fellowship and accountability. It will not feel threatened at the idea of others knowing its weaknesses, nor will it be embarrassed, resentful or angered when others give advice or correction unexpectedly.
• Refreshed—a heart that openly admits its need of God and others is a heart that is regularly refreshed by accepting that help. It will not become dry, stagnant or exhausted from trying to do everything on its own or avoiding open fellowship with God and other believers.

How is your heart? Are you striving for self sufficiency and autonomy, or do you openly admit your need for God and others and seek their help? Do a heart check and see which side of the line you fall on. Ask God to reveal that to you, and to help you acknowledge your true neediness.

For more about this, check out "None Like Him" by Jen Wilkin.