Can You Handle Being Wrong?

In theory, it is easy to accept that we will be wrong at some point. We are human, fallen, sinful. Some time in our lives we will say the wrong thing, do something wrong, be mistaken. Admitting that we are wrong, however, is much more difficult. Some people have an easier time than others, but I don’t think it is easy for anyone. Whether it is apologizing for something we did or said, or acknowledging that we were wrong about something, it can be extremely difficult. Yet it is also necessary.

Admitting wrong is primarily difficult because it is a matter of pride. We don’t want to admit we are wrong because that would mean that we are less than we believe we are. It causes us to be humbled. Our pride wants to maintain that we are right no matter what. That blow to our ego is painful. Yet, the Bible calls us to be humble in everything.

1 Peter 5:5 New American Standard Bible (NASB) (emphasis added)

You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

God hates pride because it is trying to put us on a level with or even above God. Most would never openly say something like that, but that is what is at work within us. That is what caused satan to fall, and he will try to ensnare us in it as well.

Humility is putting others first regardless of who is right, better, or more important. Humility values others above self. It doesn’t put self down, it just doesn’t think about self at all. That is how we should be, caring about others and God more, sacrificing self for the sake of others.

Philippians 2:3-4 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

I once read (I can’t find the original quote) that, “Compassion is lost with the desire to be right.” In essence, when we start to insist that we are right (even if we are), we begin to lose love, to put ourselves first, to value ourselves above the other person. We must win the argument at all cost. And there is always a price to pay.

More than just being humble and giving up our right to be right, we need to be willing to admit that we are wrong, and do it graciously. Many people will not give an apology when they are told they have hurt another because they cannot admit that they were wrong. They destroy people and relationships, not through their initial painful (albeit unintentional) acts, but through their pride and unwillingness to be wrong.

James 5:16 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.

We need to be willing to make things right. Our relationships with others should be more important to us than our pride.

Another important aspect of admitting we are wrong to others is for the sake of accountability and restoration. We all sin at some point. It’s a given. When we sin we need to repent and ask God’s forgiveness and restoration. Refusing to repent is denying that what we have done is wrong and rejects Jesus’ sacrifice for that sin. It basically denies the need for redemption, and if we don’t need to be redeemed then we don’t need a Savior, and therefore can’t be saved.

Hebrews 10:26-29 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

For if we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a terrifying expectation of judgment and the fury of a fire which will consume the adversaries. Anyone who has set aside the Law of Moses dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace?

1 John 1:10 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.

Accepting Jesus as our Savior requires admitting that we have sinned, turning away from that sin, and asking Him to forgive us, otherwise He died unnecessarily. And that is not a one time thing either. We need to repent every time we sin. Refusing to do that is denying that very thing for which He died. It is treating His sacrifice with contempt. We have to be willing to admit that we are wrong.

1 John 1:9 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

The point of admitting our sin is to be cleansed from our sin so that we can be more like Jesus. Sin offends Him. Because of His holiness, He cannot be in the presence of sin and therefore cannot have fellowship with us if we have unrepented sin in our hearts. He will cleanse us if we ask, but we have to admit that we need cleansing.

 

Proverbs 27:17 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.

The goal of confessing our sin to other believers is partly to restore our relationships with them, but also so they can keep us accountable. We are set in the family of God so that we can help each other become more godly. Becoming like Christ is the ultimate purpose for every believer, and should be our goal, but we can’t do it alone. We need the help of God, but we also need the help of others. We are often blind to our sin, but others can often see it pretty clearly. We need people in our lives who love us enough to help us become better. I am not talking about those who criticize for the sake of picking faults or puffing themselves up over the failings of others, but those who truly love and desire to build us up by helping us grow closer to God.

A willingness to admit we are wrong is the first, and most important, step, but how we handle acknowledging that we are wrong is also important. Remember that we are representatives of God, and we need to behave in a godly manner always. This is no exception. We need to respond with humility when we see our wrong. We need to put down our pride, which would revolt at the idea, and willingly accept it. We need to realize that we are sinful, and that trying to maintain the posture of being better than we truly are is arrogant and self-deceptive. I say “self” because no one else is fooled by it.

Responding in a prideful way only adds to our sin. Graciously and humbly dealing with our wrong will much more quickly set us on the path to being right. The more quickly we remove sin when it happens the closer we get to God, and the closer we get to God the less we will sin.

How do you respond when you are wrong? Are you willing to admit when you are wrong? Ask God to reveal your heart, to cleanse it of pride, and help you be humble and gracious.