Is Self-Help Enough?

 Our world today is enamored with self-help books. There are countless options for learning how to do or overcome just about everything. It seems to be removing the need to meet in person, take classes, or seek advice/help from someone else. It bears the concept at least of people becoming autonomous, needing help from no one. Some of these options are great to be sure, but is it enough? Is self-help all we need? Can we really solve all of our own problems?

Psalm 94:17 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

If the Lord had not been my help,
My soul would soon have dwelt in the abode of silence.

Psalm 37:39-40 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

But the salvation of the righteous is from the Lord;
He is their strength in time of trouble.
The Lord helps them and delivers them;
He delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
Because they take refuge in Him.

Psalm 46:1 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.

Psalm 30:1-3 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

I will extol You, O Lord, for You have lifted me up,
And have not let my enemies rejoice over me.
O Lord my God,
I cried to You for help, and You healed me.
O Lord, You have brought up my soul from Sheol;
You have kept me alive, that I would not go down to the pit.

 

The book of Psalms is full of verses like these, talking about the help of God, even stating that if He had not been their help, all would have been lost. Following the history of Israel, there were many times when they should have turned to God for help but didn’t and as a result they lost the battle. God made each of us; He gives us every breath we take. We literally would not be alive without His help. We depend on Him so much more than we realize.

 

Some people claim that they trusted God to help and He let them down. That happened for a number of reasons: either they did not get the answer they wanted or expected and so assumed God didn’t answer at all, they did not fully trust Him but tried to maintain control, or they were not patient enough to wait for Him to work. All of these reasons are grounded in the fact that they did not fully trust God, that He would work and that His ways are best. In order for God to be our help, we have to fully rely on Him, trusting Him completely. Only He knows what will happen in the future. Only He knows what is best for us. He loves each of us more than anyone else ever could. Whether we are willing to admit it or not, we are completely dependent on Him.

 

James 1:17 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

Matthew 7:11 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!

Ecclesiastes 3:12-14 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor—it is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him.

Ephesians 2:8-9 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.

 

Not only is every good thing we have a gift from God, but it is a gift we do not deserve. We don’t deserve anything good, but He chooses to bless us anyway. We were made to need God, to seek Him for help and counsel, to rely on Him. Nothing that we do apart from Him will be truly successful.

 

Proverbs 11:14 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Where there is no guidance the people fall,
But in abundance of counselors there is victory.

Proverbs 12:15 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.

Proverbs 15:22 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Without consultation, plans are frustrated,
But with many counselors they succeed.

Galatians 6:2 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.

 

We were also made to need the help of others, and not just through reading books they have written. We need the advice of godly friends who can look objectively into our lives and give us counsel and guidance. We need people who can help hold us up, support us when we are down or weak. It is foolish and arrogant to think that we can do it on our own, that we don’t need help, or that no one knows better than we do. We are actually commanded to help others, and to accept their help. God works in community, in the trinity, He even works with us, using us to help accomplish His purpose. He doesn’t need our help, but He accepts and uses it nonetheless, and sets the example for us in our interactions.

 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.

Genesis 2:18 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

 

God created us to need others, to need help and community. Those who deny that fact are denying God’s purpose and plan in creation and for our lives. They are trying to make themselves God in that they claim they don’t need anyone but are enough on their own. Only God can truly make that claim. We all need others, both God and friends, and the sooner we accept that the better our lives will be. The key is that we need humility, both to admit our need for others and to accept the help they offer.

 

There once were two women, both had surgery and needed help. The first one gladly accepted the help offered, even though she could have made due, and was blessed beyond measure. The other rejected all offers of help and was left alone. She felt ill-used and abandoned because she pushed everyone away, claiming she didn’t need any help, even though she was unable to walk for months. Both women went to the same church; one felt incredibly loved by the church, the other felt as if no one cared for her. Unfortunately, she didn’t see that she was the cause of her solitude. I am the first woman, and spent a lot of time with the second, even though she never said she wanted it. In a sense I forced her to accept my help, because I was close enough to see that she needed it. I could also see that it was her lack of humility that caused all of her aloneness and pain, but it also made her unable to see the cause.

 

Self-help books have their place, but they are not enough on their own. Let us pray and ask God to give us that humility, to truly see our need and be willing to accept the help that is offered. Let us be willing to see our need for help, and ready to give help to others.