The Fruit of Gentleness

Gentleness seems to be more of a personality trait than anything. We all know some people who seem to be very gentle by nature, and many people who are not gentle at all. It really doesn’t seem to have as much to do with a person’s faith as it does their disposition. Is gentleness really something we all can and should have? Can those who are by nature harsh or rough become gentle?

First, let us define gentleness as used in the Bible: mildness of disposition, gentleness of spirit, meekness, i.e. humility. This definition includes a few different aspects. When we think of gentleness, gentleness of spirit is what usually comes to mind, someone who is by nature calm, kind and delicate.

But there are other aspects that are just as important to notice. Gentleness also includes a mildness of disposition, meaning someone who is not emotionally driven, either to anger or despair or sadness. It is a person who is calm in any situation, especially when faced with others who are not gentle in some way. This requires patience and selflessness, one who is not demanding for themselves, or easily upset or angered by offenses.

The third aspect plays off of the second, and that is meekness. A person who has gentleness is meek, or humble, toward others and God. It is a person who puts others first and views them as being more important than self. This viewpoint causes gentleness because, as with mildness, a person who views others as more important will not be easily offended or demanding. They will have a more genuine love and concern for others which will cause them to treat others more kindly and gently than someone who does not care, or who is very prideful or defensive.

If gentleness were simply a personality trait, then not everyone could be that way, nor would God command others to be so. But gentleness is also a perspective, a way of viewing others, self and situations. Personality traits are a way a person is made, but perspective and view point is the way a person thinks.

Romans 12:2 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

The world would tell us that we should think of ourselves first, that we should be offended when someone mistreats us, that we should get impatient when things don't go our way, that we should let others know how they have wronged us and treat them accordingly. The world would say that gentleness is weak. But we are not to act as the world does. We need to be transformed by the Word and grace of God. We need to think as Christ does, for our actions stem from our hearts, and our hearts are influenced by our thoughts.

2 Corinthians 10:1a New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Now I, Paul, myself urge you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ.

Christ is gentle and meek, and we are to be like Him. We should not be proud of our offendedness, our temper, our emotional tendencies, our gruffness or lack of compassion toward others. All of those are ungodly and show the world that we are like the world instead of Christ. But becoming gentle and meek is not something we just make happen. The key to the fruit of the Spirit is that is it something the Spirit produces and grows. We need to seek God, seek to be like Him, but also seek His work in our lives. We need to allow Him to work in us, to change and mold us into His likeness.

Part of that comes from spending time with Him. Jim Rohn once said that “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” We are influenced by those we are around the most, but that also includes media; what we watch, read and listen to. If God is not in our top five, then we will not be greatly influenced by Him. If we are listening to, watching and reading worldly things, then we will be influenced toward the world. This does not mean that we should never watch, listen to or read secular media, but they should not be our largest intaking.

In the same way, while we should not shut out those who do not believe in God, they should not be the ones we are around the most. Of course, we cannot control who we work with, or our family. But if we are placed in situations where we are around the unsaved for large parts of the day, then we need to actively seek more time and relationships with those who will be a godly influence in our lives. We need to be intentional about our time with God, and seek out Bible study groups and mentors who will encourage us toward godliness.

If we are around those who are not gentle, we will not be gentle. Seek God, seek the godly, seek gentleness!