I had this problem yesterday. My daughter’s birthday was
that evening, with all the grandparents coming over. I was busy in town until
after noon and had a lot of cleaning and prep to take care of in just a few
hours. Knowing this, I had asked my husband the day before if he would help me
since he wasn’t working. When I arrived at the babysitters to pick the kids up,
he was there but obviously had no intention of coming home with me thinking
that sweeping that morning was enough. I wish I could say that I calmly asked
him to help me with other chores, or just went home without getting upset…but I
didn’t.
I went home upset and was pretty grumpy for the next two
days…The point here is not to justify either of us, but to show that my
attitude, regardless of the situation, made everything worse. If I had stayed
calm, maybe I would have explained what else I needed help with, and then maybe
he would have been more willing to help me and that would have ended the
conflict.
Our attitudes are kind of like sails on a ship. They can be
used to steer a ship a certain direction, but they don’t have to. Instead, you
can take down the sails and use the rudder (the Word of God) to take you where
you should go rather than being
tossed and driven without guidance.
Ephesians 4:22-24 New International Version (NIV)
22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of
life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its
deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and
to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness
and holiness.
Before we were saved, we were a slave to our bodies and sin.
We were self focused and self serving, and the injuries we experienced we
defended. But we are not supposed to be that way now. We are supposed to love
others more than ourselves. We are supposed to give up our rights and BE like
Christ.
Romans 15:5-6 New International Version (NIV)
5 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give
you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, 6 so
that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of
our Lord Jesus Christ.
We are to do everything for God’s glory, forsaking
ourselves for the sake of Him. When we serve ourselves, and defend our rights,
we are glorifying ourselves and dishonoring God. We are making ourselves the lord
we are defending. The love and service of Christ is sacrifice and humility.
Philippians 2:5-8 NIV
5 In your relationships with one
another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own
advantage; 7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of
a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance
as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a
cross!
Christ had every right to vindicate
Himself, to defend His rights, to demand that others serve Him. But He did the opposite.
He willingly gave up everything in order to serve us out of love. And we are to
imitate Him.
Sometimes you may think that no one would
know one way or the other. What is inside you doesn’t show. But that is not
true.
Hebrews 4:12-13 New International Version (NIV)
12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper
than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and
spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing
in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and
laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
Nothing we do is secret to God. He is the
One who will judge us in the end. And He is the One we are supposed to be
serving. He knows.
It does also become obvious to others in
time. Matthew 15 says that what is in our hearts is what determines our
actions, and it is what defiles us. Our attitudes can alter the course of our
lives. They can make you react sharply when you should be kind or even silent. But
if we stay focused on God, if we stay positive and humble, our attitudes will
mirror that, and so will our actions.
Part of guiding our attitudes is keeping
our thoughts positive, not allowing them to follow that negative rabbit trail
down a dark hole. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says that we are to make every thought
captive and subject to Christ. We are to make our thoughts honor God. Notice it
says “make”, it takes effort and self control. We need to make ourselves think
of good things, like Philippians 4:8 (which I talk about more here).
Another part of guiding our attitudes is
by reading the Bible and praying regularly. If we do that then we will be more
aligned with God’s Word. And when we do stray it will be more obvious to us,
before it is obvious to others, and we can correct our wrong thoughts and
attitudes before it gets out of hand. We also need to ask God’s help to mold us
into His image because we can’t do it alone.
Our emotions are meant to be signs,
signaling that something may be wrong, not road maps. We shouldn’t ignore them
completely but we also shouldn’t follow them or obey their impulses. Everything
we do should be in subject to God’s direction, for He is not a God of chaos.
So examine your heart. Do some spring
cleaning in your mind. Get rid of any ungodly thoughts and attitudes. Start making
them subject to God’s direction. And get into the Word. Ask for God’s help. Stay
positive! Remember the love and grace God has for you and let that be your joy
that keeps you from getting upset or dragged down. Let God be in control of
your life rather than your emotions.
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