What I've Learned in Marriage-7

Guard your heart; purity is for life, not just singleness—Growing up, purity rings and the idea of “remaining pure/waiting for marriage” was very popular. Unfortunately, that is where the emphasis ended. It wasn’t until after I was married that I learned that purity is about more than just virginity. It is a lifestyle, not something only for single people.
Purity is about more than just abstaining from sex until you get married. It is about being holy and untainted by the world. There are a lot of things that you can do that are impure while still remaining a virgin, and they will negatively affect your life, and marriage when you get to that point. Even those little crushes, day dreams and fantasies will not stop once you tie the knot, and you can NOT cultivate intimacy with your spouse if you are dreaming about intimacy with someone else, even a fictional character.

Matthew 5:28New American Standard Bible (NASB)

but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Sexual immorality is defined as anything that causes arousal that does not include your marriage partner. If you are single that is everything regardless of who it involves, even the person you will be marrying. If you are not married when you do it it is sin. It doesn't matter you consider yourself married. God does not consider you married until you really are. It also includes thoughts, married or unmarried.

Remember purity is a lifestyle, what ever lifestyle you choose will follow you into your marriage. It doesn’t just magically change when you get married. Like any habit, it takes effort to break. The sooner you start your fight against impurity, the easier it will be, and the better your marriage will be now and/or in the future. Read Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. God is very adamant and specific about purity for His people, and for a reason. We are to be set apart from the rest of the world, not like everyone else. Part of what sets us apart is purity.

Proverbs 22:11New American Standard Bible (NASB)

11 He who loves purity of heart
And whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend.

Notice this says “purity of heart” not just purity of body. What is in our hearts will dictate how we think, talk and act. We must be pure inside and out. If we are, we will be blessed.

Mark 2:21-22New American Standard Bible (NASB)

21 “No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment; otherwise the patch pulls away from it, the new from the old, and a worse tear results. 22 No one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the wine will burst the skins, and the wine is lost and the skins as well; but one puts new wine into fresh wineskins.”

It is not only pointless, but hypocritical, to be pure on the outside and impure on the inside, and will eventually end in ruin.

1 Timothy 4:12New American Standard Bible (NASB)

12 Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe.

Purity is one of the ways we prove that we are a child of God, as Paul also lists in 2 Corinthians 6, because God is pure and we are supposed to be like Him. If we are impure, then we are slandering the name of God and other believers because we are acting like Satan through our impurity.

1 Timothy 5:1-2New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, 2 the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity.

Purity should define our relationships with everyone no matter who they are. It should be in everything we are and do. Our purpose as Christians is to be continually transformed into Christ’s image, and part of that is being pure. We should be pure in our actions, words, thoughts, motives and intentions, it should permeate our lifestyle. Part of that is God working in us, but we also have a choice. Will you choose purity?